Friday, December 02, 2005
And now for something completely different
When I talk to her about limits and the thin line between funny and offensive, she agrees that it’s always funny for members of an ethnic group to see themselves parodied by one of their own. Jackie Mason, I say, could make me laugh with the simplest observation about Jewish behavior. But, I point out, when he takes on Puerto Ricans, his act goes flat. Silverman interjects, "And yet Don Rickles gets away with that and it’s hilarious."
"I think Andrew Dice Clay was just plain offensive and I didn’t find him funny," I offer.
"Ah, but you just said, ‘I found Andrew Dice Clay offensive and I didn’t find him funny.’ But you found him offensive because you didn’t find him funny. I think the thing is, if it’s funny enough, if it’s more funny than it is offensive or upsetting, that’s the gauge. But of course it’s subjective. So that’s why when people don’t like me or get offended by something, I never try to defend. I just say, ‘I’m so sorry!’, because it’s subjective — everyone’s watching it from the context of their own life experience, there’s just no way to say who it’s going to offend. If someone doesn’t find something funny — and comedy being subjective there always will be someone who doesn’t find you funny — then it is offensive. And that’s why if you don’t find Andrew Dice Clay funny, it’s offensive."
The infamous Conan Chink incident was originally from a bit about trying to get out of jury duty. "I wrote, ‘As long as you write something racist, like "I hate Chinks." I don’t want to be racist, I just want to get out of jury duty. So I filled out the form and wrote, "I love Chinks." ’ Well, before I went on, they were like, ‘Don’t say "Chink." You can say "Spic" or "Jew." ’And I thought, okay maybe I can say ‘dirty Jew’ or something. But you know what? I can’t say ‘Jew,’ because it’s not offensive enough. Because I’m Jewish. So it has to be the most offensive thing I can say on television — for the joke to work. And if you’re saying that I can say ‘Spic,’ then I’m going to say ‘Chink,’ because how could you possibly say one is okay and one isn’t? You can’t possibly justify that. I’m going to say ‘Chink’ because it has the funny ‘ch’ and the hard ‘k’ and that’s why I’m going to say ‘Chink.’ But I’m not going to not say ‘Chink’ and you tell me I can say ‘Spic’ — that’s absurd. And it comes down to who writes letters — it has no moral basis."
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
I'm never not non-oblivious to you
Second -- I was walking by a coworker's office this morning and all of the sudden Dame Edna was staring back at me, illuminated in the crisp, flat panel on his desk. After the subsequent jolt from staring into the pools of Dame Edna's eyes, I had a chuckle to myself.
Third -- "Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats."
- Diane Arbus, photographer
Fourth -- Nothing feels better than having a hand in something bigger than yourself. If you have the opportunity to do this, jump on it. Take advantage of it. Live through and with it. And when you're done, do it again, and again, and again ...
Fifth -- I'm terrible, I know, and I haven't posted photographs in a while. I've been knitting. I shit you knot ... get it? Of course you did. Another coworker, not to be confused with the Dame-Edna-lit-up-on-his-monitor-like-the-4th-of-July coworker, told me that close friends with her and her husband both knit together. "They say it's kind of like meditation," she said.
When you walk in to a small, relatively unpopulated bar, it's like everyone inside is looking for a place to stop what they're doing and turn around to catch a glimpse of what the neon outside drug in. They do it so nonchalantly, holding their proverbial bookmark in one hand and beer in the other, they take a sip, insert the bookmark, close the pages to look at you and try to either identify with you or just plain identify you. When curiosity is sated, they return to what they were doing, opening the book, removing the mark and looking for the paragraph from where they left off.
In this instance, the book was a haphazard open mic night. A small speaker set-up broadcasted the soft voice of the first act, a woman and a guitar. I didn't even feign interest in her. I was too busy ordering an ale from the seedy watering hole's thin selection. In hobbles a gentleman, minus one of his legs. I'm told that he's probably the best guitarist in the region. I think that it was worth the trip, the poor brew selection and the stares from sunken eyes below fuzzy brows below what was once a hairline, just to see and hear for myself if it's true.
A table finds us and chairs find our asses and music finds our ears while I attempt to find the ladies room; however, in this place's case, I'm sure a lady hasn't graced it in quite some time. Washing my hands with watered down lotion soap proves my point further.
The crippled guitarist takes the stage, but not alone. He's joined by a saxophonist, a violinist, a vocalist with a guitar and the same mousy woman who graced the stage earlier now armed with a bass guitar. After the aged hippie-laden band takes a long tune, they break out in rock-and-roll covers. My eyes are transfixed on the one-legged guitarist who seems to know only the accompaniment of the violin.
I've had too much to drink.
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Aren't you clever ...
Terrific news.
The reason? Our system now consists of a scheme similar to the "rob from the rich to give to the poor" ethic most attributed to Robin Hood and his merry men. In this case, Robin Hood is our Legislature, the riches are the property taxes taken by taxing entities and the redistribution is determined by taking a percentage of the property taxes from a property-rich school districts and then giving it to form more equity with property-poor school districts.
The Texas Supreme Court said that this redistribution of wealth equates to a state property tax, which is outlawed by our constitution. If you didn't know, we also don't have a state income tax, but Texas has one of the highest sales tax rates in the nation.
Why the big hoopla? Well, this decision forces the Legislature to find and implement a new system to fund our public schools. Because we are stuck in a rut and have one of the worst statewide public school systems in the nation, this is an opportunity to drastically change a failing system into a leader in its own realm. (It also gives legislators an opportunity to redeem themselves by June, which I must say I'm not too crazy about, especially since this is the same Legislature that couldn't solve our school funding woes but found it in their own hearts to give themselves a raise.)
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Something I came across today kind of disturbed me.
I was doing a little bit of background research on the Texas Commission on Environmental Quality (TCEQ), and I discovered that on a certain emmission reduction advisory board there are 22 members, 15 of which are appointed members. Five of the 15 are appointed by the governor, another five by the lieutenant governor and the final five are appointed by the Texas House speaker.
The three men that hold these positions are Gov. Rick Perry, Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst and Texas House Majority Speaker Tom Craddick. In political ideology, these men rarely differ. All three are set to make Texas one of the most business-friendly states and all three happen to be Republican. So, you tell me if you trust that these three men who appoint about 75 percent of this advisory panel will actually spread the representation over citizens, consumers, environmental activists and stakeholders effected by emmissions.
Just as I suspected, approximately 66 percent of the appointed members of the emmissions reduction advisory panel were representatives of industries that pollute through industrial emmissions, including air conditioning manufacturers, electric power, trucking, fuel, automobile and a few others. Shocking, no? I didn't think so. Only one person, one appointee, represented the environmental community.
So, my last entry went off on the problems with more than 90 percent of Texas being under the realm of private ownership. Today I'm telling it like it is about our state government and the lack of representation on decision-making panels and advisory boards, especially those that deal with our need for clean air to breath, clean water to drink and clean soil to farm. Is there a pattern forming?
_______________________________________
I'll leave you with a not-so-random quote plucked from the blogosphere:
"Particularly as yesterday was a bad day and this was just the foetid cherry atop the poo-cake."
Matthew Jones, a la Rant-a-Matt
Friday, November 18, 2005
Whom do I owe the honor?
I've only taken two trips like this, and the first one I can barely recall. It was a family vacation about 13 years ago. Our family of seven piled into the Chevy Suburban, which at that time was a shiny shade of red and has subsequently faded into a modest pink-like color, and set off from Northeast Houston on a seedy motel excursion across Texas. For most of the trip my small body was nestled in the front seat between my parents. I was treated like an expensive birthday cake my mother had just purchased from the market. Whenever there was a bump in the road, she put her arm in front or around me to make sure I wasn't jostled too violently.
If I remember correctly, our trip took us across the breadth Texas -- from the expansive Piney Woods of East Texas, through the beautiful exposed limestone and poetic scenes of the Texas Hill Country, to the far reaches of West Texas and the Big Bend National Park and then south, to our final destination along the sweet sandy beaches and salty air of South Padre Island.
In between our city stops we would stay in small, pre-booked, less-than-one-star motel rooms, complete with stains on the carpet or stains on the mattresses, slightly off and very ugly attendants and bug-zapping lanterns outside the clap-trap doors.
It was OK for us five kids though, because we resigned after the car ride to our snug-fitting sleeping bags on the floor. I vividly remember one of our stops through a town named Bakersfield, Texas. We stopped on our way to Big Bend, I think, to call my grandmother and check on her and our cat. Both were fine. The most remarkable thing about Bakersfield was that there was only one pay phone, one fuel pump and not a soul in what we could surmise would be a five-mile radius. A weekend ghost town, of sorts.
On our trounce through Pecos County, we stopped at a pick-nick site and historical marker near the vulture-laden Pecos River Valley. There was nothing surrounding us besides a cavernous river chasm and several miles of flat, sandy desert. We had pre-prepared sandwiches, soda and my favorite, chocolate milk. Our only problem was that it was incredibly windy and very hard to keep our paper sandwich wrappings down that were serving as placemats. It was much more difficult to pour the carton of chocolate milk into a small plastic cup.
My father, the innovator and red-neck handyman, stuck a moistened finger in the air, turned in a certain direction, held a cup at length in one hand and the carton in the other and began to pour. We witnessed a stream of chocolate milk pushed by the blustery West Texas wind into the cup in his left hand, which was distanced about three feet from the carton in his right.
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My mother is an anything collector. If a fond memory is attached to an inanimate object, she's bound to keep it, and more likely than not, it still sits as a rotting memory in my parent's house. The last time I went there I stayed in the twins' old room, which now, like my old room, passes for a storage facility and part-time guest abode.
When I was unpacking a few pieces of clothing I noticed a stack of old T-shirts. On top was a small shirt that at one time fit one of us girls, but I'm sure that now I couldn't even get my thigh into it. On the front was a cow jumping over an observatory; it was a memento kept by my mother of our Texas-wide trip and our stop at the McDonald Observatory.
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Why all this nostalgia, you ask? Just last weekend I went to the Frio River, a family destination for several years, to visit some of Dave's friend and spend part of the weekend away from civilization. Small deer roamed and played amongst us as we walked along the white-rock lined river. Frio means cold in Spanish, and although the river was as icy as ever, our November weekend was unseasonably warm.
But the real treat was the drive back to Dallas. We took Texas Highway 281 through much of the Hill Country. About a year ago I was constantly griping about the over development of the Hill Country and that Texas' history of private lands in the hands of greedy developers was going to result in the segmentation of Hill Country vistas, dotted with houses and ranchettes, tin roofs and tiny herds.
I wish I could remember the views from the once cherry-red Suburban as we drove from hilltop to hilltop. I wish I could remember what it looked like before large ranches suffered subdivision after subdivision. I wish I could remember what the great Texas Hill Country looked like before Baby Boomers and retirees decided they were willing to drop a few hundred thousand on their very own piece of the Texas Hill Country.
The exposed-stone hills and river-cut landscape is still beautiful, although now they are marred by fences and kalichi driveways with SUVs parked before gaudy stone-clad, three-story homes.
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Upon further examination
No, I really did heed her advice. I called everyone in my phone directory -- twice. I thought they may not get enough of me the first time around, so I may as well give them double the pleasure.
So, there ... I'm not antisocial. I'm just preoccupied ... and an elitest ... who doesn't like talking on the phone much ... unless you're not boring ... I think that's about it.
Proposition 2 is a much debated and combustible state constitutional amendment that would effectively ban gay marriage and anything "identical or similar" to it. Some legal analysts believe that this amendment could do great harm to legal arrangements made by same-sex couples that give powers of attorney to their partners and it could also nullify common-law marriges established by cohabitation. Basically, this constitutional amendment's interpretation could break thousands of families. It's implications are serious and widespread. They cross gender and cultural barriers to bring us to the point where the Christian reich ... (cough) ... I mean, right, Christian right will force Texas to become Utah lite, and we all know that there's no fun in Utah ... NONE.
All of this, the seriousness of the situation and its impact, brings me to my inevitable (yes, I was eventually going to get there) point. Voters are easily fooled. Why? Because for the most part, they're ignorant. Honestly though, if some of my closer friends are any indication of what a cross-section of society looks like, then please, God, help us. Last night I was talking to one of those people, you know, my friends, about Proposition 2 (the aforementioned hellhound of the Texas Legislature) and they knew vaguely that they amendment was about gay marriage, but they said, " I'm soooooo voting for it, because, like, I think that gays should be married, too!" WHAT THE? ARE YOU SERIOUS??? REALLY? GAYS SHOULD WHAT?
Okay... I wasn't that irate, but you get the picture. Like I said, if those folks are any indication of what the level of education of my fellow Texans is regarding items on today's ballot, then GOD HELP THOSE POOR LITTLE QUEER SOULS, because if their future is in those hands, they are proverbially (and literally, if they're lucky) screwed.
For me, it's like this: I don't think that same-sex couples should share in a tradition that I think is reserved more for perceived religious purposes, but that doesn't mean that we as Americans, Texans and God-fearing Christians (I don't really fear God, but I sure do love the heck outta him!) should never be able to deny their legal rights to enjoy the benefits of an institution like marriage. There are hundreds of legal benefits that heterosexual married couples enjoy just by getting hitched. And this is news: Straight folks get divorced half of the time while gays split about one fifth of the time. So, for every two couples that get married, one will split, but for every five gay couples that form civil unions, only one will end. Interesting eh?
Lots of conservative groups, virtually TONS of them, think that homosexual marriage is an assault on traditional family values; however, I tend to agree with the foes of Proposition 2 that think that DIVORCE, you know, that institution that Henry VIII just HAD to have, is what is assaulting traditional family values.
But, I tend to think that America's greatest enemy is its citizens and their right to ignorance.
Saturday, November 05, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The opened window
I had planned to do a weekend by rail last weekend; however, my plans were thwarted by my own inability to schedule. I did end up adventuring with Dave. We went to a cafe on Mockingbird and then off to Thanksgiving Square. I took a few photos, but we were swiftly resigned from the park and chapel. Visiting hours were over.
Sunday's exploits included washing terrariums and feeding tadpoles. Dinner and a movie and off to bed at a decent hour.
Good news though. Tracy is giving me froggies! The trouble is, will I have to set up a vivarium for the D. auratus I'll receive? Or will Tracy help me? I know a little about exotic terrariums with my previous experiences with reptiles, but they're require less extensive habitat and maintenance; all in all, the snakes I've owned where required relatively simple care.
Anywho, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruling today has gotten a few people in the office quite incensed. I'm one of them. I loooooooooooove political discourse.
Oh, and watchout Santa Fe, HERE I COME!!!
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Cream and sugar
If Aubrey's anonymous philosopher king/queen is right, then I'm the Incredible Hulk.
BANG!! ZOOM!!
Awake... Awake and wishing I wasn't.
Do you know how that feels? To be perilously empty of all the ideals you thought would take you away? To be spiritually vapid? Awake, wishing you were back in your dreams in places that were special where people actually cared?
I'm waiting for the time of day when shadows are cast on the building. I waiting for a time when eloquence comes easy. I'm still waiting to set things right.
She's not deep. She's anything but. She doesn't make me feel less important, just less significant.
I'm getting stuck in a rut. The one thing I fear right now more than anything is being insignificant. I fear being stuck in this place where I don't make a difference with my life. Being stuck in a job that doesn't give me the room to prove myself or advance because I know... I KNOW ... that I'm better than this.
All of the sudden I see how my complaints parallel a British premadonna turned illegal alien. I'm dissatisfied with my plight but I'm uncertain of what to do next not because I'm tired of trying but instead because I haven't really tried.
Enough bitching ...
Get to work.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Forgive me father ...
Okay, so it's about that time for my annual confessional to the anonymous public. No, I'm not Catholic. I'm Episcopal. (For all of you lay persons, it's like Catholicism without all the guilt and repentance. Call it "Catholic Lite" if you must.)
This is when I spill about all of the things I have done, do or have thought about doing that I believe are particularly shameful. Now, mind you, these admonitions may not seem so shameful to you, but to me, they require purging.
Without further adieu ...
1) I felt guilty about letting go of someone in my past today. I know that I shouldn't feel guilty, and I usually don't, but for some reason I Googled him today to see if I could find out what he was doing and if he is okay. I kinda wish that we were talking. Maybe we should. There I go again with the guilt. We were working on that whole compulsive guilt thing ...
2) Whenever I walk by a flat, shiny or otherwise reflective vertical surface, I check myself out. I know that a lot of people do this. I also know that a lot of people are vain. I am vain, too. Damn ...
3) Pride ... God. I can't say this enough. I'm way too proud. I need some damn humility. But then again, I could say that my whole life is humility. But then again, I could say that I lack humility because I'm betting on my future. But then again, I could say that I'm in the wading pool with a life vest. I also could say that I have this disgusting feeling of entitlement. That, of course, is brought on from my own insecurity. (I wish I could say more here, but there is the fear of the dooce ...)
4) Sometimes I catch myself being arrogant. It's not like I'm being really arrogant -- just kinda arrogant. You know, arrogant enough to not want to sit next to anyone on the train but not so arrogant that I won't pick something up that a stranger dropped.
5) The city ... I think that these people, these random people that I no longer interact with, I think they're getting to me. I promised Jack that I wouldn't let them, but I think they're taking my once unflappable spirit and crushing it ever-so slowly.
You know what ... maybe I'm not going to be as influential, succesful or happy as I thought I was. Maybe I should get used to being a peon. Maybe I should just chalk it up to my own inability to follow through with what I believe in. Maybe I am just ambitious enough to make it OK, but just inept enough to be a complete failure.
My God ... that was depressing.
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Good news, folks...
I get to go see the doc to wipe this crud out!
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Blech...
I wish I could wear thick flannel pajamas, a terrycloth bathrobe and fuzzy slippers with fuzzy socks in the office. But alas, that shall not be permitted.
I'll just deal with it, and that means that I won't miss a day of work because of it.
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Also in the news (in case my news was of any concern to you), I filled out my benefit paperwork for next year. I guess that's alright. But I don't have insurance now, which sucks, you know, because I'm sick... blech.
I wish we had national health care. ***pouts***
Monday, October 10, 2005
Tragedy atop tragedy
When growing up, our parents try to shrink our world, make it small enough for us to understand so that we can gradually adjust to the cruelty and sadness that will be prolific in adulthood. They do a great job, especially when you're 11 and to you, civic-minded means that you've done several badges in your scout troop.
It's not that you don't know about our history of strife, but it's that you know little about current strife that is making history. Your parents discourage violent movies and TV, which is to say that I grew up watching local TV news that didn't feature murders and rapists. Not that I would understand it. Young minds don't really fathom tragedy all too well when they are detached from it. It's literally in another world, a world outside of the one created for formative youth.
I had a conversation with a man that was upset about "Doonesbury" setting up shop on the funny pages. It's a comic, so it belongs with the other comic illustrations, but he didn't like it there because of its political message. It made me think back to when I was an 8-year-old. I didn't understand "Doonesbury" then, and I'm sure that his 8-year-old grandson doesn't either, that is, unless his parents haven't been doing a very good job of sheltering him.
Which brings me to my point, I think. I was just watching an excerpt from a CNN newscast about the Guatemalan landslides brought on by the wrath of Hurricane Stan. So many people so close to a national tragedy that I can't even imagine. Almost 700 dead ... Nearly 400 are missing. Government officials are declaring entire hamlets and villages as mass graves. People are hauling the decaying remains of their loved ones on makeshift stretchers through the muck and mud of what's left of their homes, hopes and livelihood.
The CNN video cuts to Darfur refugees. Mothers with scars across their faces and bodies screaming out for their starving bastard children, both the victims of rape and bloodshed. Small children are lying on their backs, so emaciated that each individual rib, bone and feature of their body seems to have its own breath as the child labors for air. Tape holds a feeding tube to the child's mouth. It didn't have enough energy to chew when the Red Cross rescued them.
As tears started to come from my eyes, I felt so foolish and self-centered for wondering if I should bring my lunch to the workshop instead of eating what they were providing ...
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
You're either with us or you're a liberal
Al Franken
Screaming left-wing liberal
Cindy Sheehan
Anti-American liberal nutcase
Ann Coulter
An angel, sent directly from the Almighty in this crusade against the Stars and Stripes by liberal left-wing nutcases and screaming Anti-patriots.
(I won't make any mention of Rush Limbaugh. Some neocons see him as their personal second-coming.)
Simple enough, isn't it? But why do we have to suffer through all this partisan nonsense? The British have become infected with our two-party bull$#!^ as well ... So much for the last purely academic stronghold ...
Now, I have a point, and I'm about to get to it, but first I must say that I'm really neither Democrat nor Republican. I'm what some would consider a moderate, if not an Independent. Yes, I've flirted once or twice with the Green Party, but honestly, environmentalism should be an agenda, not a political ideology.
The point: I never read, listen or pay much attention to political pundits from the Left or the Right. It's confusing, really, that both sides assert that they're telling the truth, but when the other side supposedly debunks them, they never address nor redress the factual correction. I had, in fact, never read anything by Al Franken, Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh ... until today.
It's intriguing to read some of the inflammatory statements that they make, both sides, Left and Right. Some, in fact, would in many ways equivocate to a partisan call to arms, which would explain the extreme militant environment that shrouds our federal government like the smog billowing on the Dallas skyline.
My first time reading Ann Coulter was a preview in the preface to her books Slander and Treason on the Amazon website. What a banshee! That was my primary impression. But, as I've always heard is best to do, I shall remain skeptical.
The same goes for my first foray into Al Franken's humorist approach to the "professional debunking" of conservative "lies" in his book Lies. Not so much a banshee, but I would be a crying and frightful pile of mush if I was the conservative pundit that was receiving those wallops.
Rush, Al, O'Reilly or [insert non-existen liberal politcal pundit here] can just keep talking to those incensed enough by their morals, ethics or whatever. However, I prefer to stay true to what I believe than jump on a political bandwagon.
Moderate; thy name is _____________.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
There's no giving up...
I kept on asking myself that. "What do I do when I see that the causes I fight for like social equity and freedom aren't even appreciated?" The answer: Keep working, because obviously you aren't done yet.
Yesterday the foundation of my beliefs, which strangely resembles a rickety house of cards, was shaken to the point of catastrophe. All these philosophical questions were spurned by two events, one directly after the other.
I board the northbound train terminating at Parker Road from Union Station every evening after work. Never fail. That's what takes me home. Yesterday, I happened to leave work a little later than usual. As I boarded the train the sun was dimming, colliding with the horizon at a sluggish southern pace.
At the West End Station, a crowd of Louisiana evacuees boarded the train. They have all become friends, if not family, as they overcome the loss that Hurricane Katrina burdened them with. They interact like family, loudly laughing at each other and giving hugs and shoves with love an jest.
They all sat close by, and soon after they were settled they began to commune. Two of the boys, neither could be older than 22 or so, began to freestyle, which is what most would consider to be rapping without music or a background rhythm. I felt like I was observing wildlife. These cultural experiences do not happen on the commute back home. All I would normally encounter is a crowded train, chalk full o' suits, ties and briefcases.
My attention was divided between my book and reveling in their leisure. But I soon became rapt as one of the young black men pulled two blunts from his pocket and like pencils, placed one behind each ear. His friend continued to freestyle, but suddenly, the mere sound of his voice made me disgusted. From his pocket he pulled two cigars and then took a razor and cut one down the middle. He emptied the cigar of the tobacco, which he dumped in a brochure compartment.
Stashed in his hand I could see a bag of marijuana. I couldn't believe my eyes. Not only did he already have two blunts behind his ears, but he was about to roll two more! I thought to myself, "Gee, I wonder what he's going to do with those ... With four blunts, he's either going to smoke them or sell them, and now everyone in proximity to him and his group of friends knows it."
It was an exhibition of disrespect. It's not enough for him to possess it in public, but he actually plans on rolling a blunt on a public train? I was crushed. Absolutely crushed.
There were two young Latinas close by. As the young black man pulled the marijuana out of the sack they shrank away from him and his group and made glances of disdain in their direction. Their body language told everyone around "Hey, we don't have anything to do with that!"
"Lovers Lane Station [static] Next stop ... Lovers Lane [static]"
The voice on the intercom announcing my impending stop jerked me from my thoughts. Awakended from a rude awakenining, I pushed through their group to the sliding doors of the train car.
Hurt and shocked, tears came to my eyes. For all the things you fight for every day, for all the prejudices you try to overcome for a better society, for all of your idealism and hard work, this is the sight you enjoy. A young black man, brazen about his drug use and unafraid of the consequences that such an exhibition of disrespect may carry. This is enough to destroy hope.
Shock... Total shock. And then, a more minor offense just set me off.
A group of people littering in a parking lot. They just tossed their trash into the foliage. More disrespect. And that was the proverbial straw that could have broken the camel's back ...
But I'm not giving up. There's still work that must be done.
Friday, September 30, 2005
BROWNIES!!!
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Kenny "Clairvoyant" Rogers
A couple of cups of espresso roast and a front-page SportsDay story about Texas Rangers Starting Pitcher Kenny Rogers really got me going. It was quite a hoot to read that he is "extremely certain" that he's going to be off the Rangers' roster. Way to go, Soothsayer Kenny. A blind, deaf mute with a limp and penchant for Matlock could have found that on a map.
Then, as luck would have it, I walked out my door without forgetting a single article. That, my friends, is a triumph in itself. But as if that wasn't enough, I was greeted at the door by a lovely chilled wind that sported airs of autumn. Immediately, I smiled and put forward my right foot, intent on finding what other surprises were in store.
So far, so good as I briskly traversed the sidewalk on my daily pilgrimage to the train station. The cool air against my stocking-clad legs was entirely pleasant. With the cold front in the air, the train, the market and my music turned up, it finally felt like a city, a place I wanted to be. I finally felt at home.
My blood was pumping and my mood was lifting as I sat down under the awning at the station. Soon, I noticed that my smile was infecting those around me. A girl, a student, slightly shivering in her thin green jacket, waved to grab my attention. "I looooooooooove those shoes!" she giddily said. "Your style is just so cute!" Unabashedly flattered, I thanked the girl, and immediately returned to the article I was poring over in the Metro section.
The train arrived (late, I might add) and I hopped aboard only to find a lack of vacant seats. I don't mind standing, but in heels, the corrugated flooring makes the trip rather precarious. Instead of bothering about it, I grasped the stainless rail and braced myself for departure. Nothing would spoil my beautiful morning, I thought, not even an unpleasant commute.
Kids, those innocent little pre-pubescent things, have a way about them. One in a stroller and a bright pink slicker with matching mary janes was making faces at me on the train. So, I made faces back. Her mother was so amused by my response. "Good spirits in the morning ... She knows you're good people!"
Then, while glancing about the train, doing my morning people-watch, I noticed the man next to me sporting an Aggie ring.
"What class are you?"
"I'm sorry?"
"What class?"
"Oh ... '94, you?"
"'05, just this May, actually."
"Well! Congratulations then!"
We got into the usual exchange. His name was Kurt, he's an architectural photographer. I thought I was the only weirdo that always carried a camera bag with a carabiner clip fastened to it. I was wrong.
We both got off a Union, but went our separate ways. I was greeted once more by the blustery morning, and compared to normal Texas weather, a morning in the low 60s is blustery.
I met Ashlee on the platform exiting the train. She's excited, and it's justifiable. She has a love interest, Kevin, and she'll be in his arms tomorrow, she says. Good for you, Ashlee. I'm happy for you.
The clan will be reunited tomorrow. It's been two long months since I've seen my family. I miss them... I hope they missed me too.
Wild horses, folks... Wild...
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Pictures, lately...
A scene from the fourth floor.
The Hyatt, before the storm...
Dave likes my black bean quiche...
Now, folks... THIS IS SHEER INSANITY!!!See that innocuous little sighn to the lower right? It says "Gas Line"! LINES? FOR GAS? Instead, I would have put "Paranoia Chute." But, that's just me.
This is all we saw of Rita. And there was no rain to speak of.
Republicans for Voldemort
The sunset after Rita...
Friday, September 23, 2005
More Rita Images

Latest images from NOAA's satellites. Rita is churning along the Texas-Louisiana Gulf Coast with Hurricane force winds of about 120 mph. She's been downgraded to a Cat-3 storm, but the light blue box over parts of Louisiana indicate areas that are under a tornado watch. Other areas are cautioned on the possibility of widespread flooding.
New Rita Images

Reunion Arena must have been overtly Hindu, because its second incarnation is a storm shelter for Gulf Coast hurricane evacuees. That's right, Reunion Arena is again a shelter for those seeking refuge from a monster hurricane. As you can see, Rita is coming dangerously close to the Texas coast. The thing I'm wondering about is why all this emphasis of evacuation hasn't been put on the small East Texas towns that Rita may hit the hardest. Of course, nothing is certain and no guarantees can be made when it comes to predicting the effects of unpredictable storms, but we have a general idea, according to the NOAA image above, that Rita will make landfall as a Category 2 or 1 storm near Beaumont, Texas. Has Beaumont been evacuated? I don't know, because it's not being covered.
Why?
That's a really good question, now isn't it?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Bathroom shame
So why the shame? Why do these people not return a greeting after exiting the public toilet?
Here's my theory: We, as a species, aren't ready to embrace the "unspeakable" bodily functions of others outside of a joke or a frat party. Honestly, there's nothing to be ashamed of, but we instill this modest and proper behavior into our society. Why? Because it is, and always will be, a dirty little secret.
There is one thing that I know, I'm not ashamed.
Be warned. If you exit a public toilet around me, I will proceed to greet you and/or ask you if you feel better.
Another Rita Update

Traffic is stalled on evacuation routes just near my parents' neighborhood. So, this is bound to make my father doubly paranoid. The contra-flow traffic plan hasn't really worked since it has taken some people several hours just to travel 30 miles north of Houston. About 1.8 million Houstonians have participated in this mass exodus.
On the family front, all is well... I suppose...
Not enough calling and updating, if you ask me!

*** Latest Rita update from the family***
Kara had to go to work today, but I'm pretty sure that hair is one of the least concerns of her clients, which are located near a major U.S. river with a hurricane closing in on the Texas shore. Their worries of flooding and wind damage should be foremost; however, I'm sure that there are some that wouldn't miss an appointment to their hair stylist for anything.
Mom and Dad are battening down the hatches. They're trying to keep Jessica from panicking, which is weird because she's in Madisonville, a small town at the junction of I-45 and Hwy. 21. Jessica always panics. Mom is bringing in as many potted plants as she can. Dad is working on preparations as well... I hope he stashed a bottle of Crown for the storm.
Phillip and Megan: haven't heard. Sara: I'm sure she's fine.
Reading on Rita

Do a search for "Houston" and "Rita" on Blogger.com and you'll get more than enough hits to give you a good impression of what's going on in the city. Reports are streaming in that people who stay in the path of Hurricane Rita are taking great preventative measures, i.e. cooking all meats and perishables (bar-be-que time) and drinking all beverages that will not be savory when warm (chugging the last few Budweisers in the fridge).
A lot of neighborhoods are banding together in this effort (not just the eating and boozing). A few reports have come in from separate areas in the city that neighbors are helping eachother move furniture to higher ground and board up windows.
How do I feel about my parents and siblings remaining in the area? I'm worried. Very worried.
In fact, I can't get it off of my mind.
I hope you guys are okay. Will you PLEASE call me back!? PLEASE???
Dear friend across the pond,
I grew up on outdated British comedy. Oh, I miss the days of "Are you being served?" and "Keeping up Appearances." But, I've heard raves about "The league of gentlemen," and all of it's nasty hilarity (bodies and hatchets, included of course).
Benny Hill, you say? Genius, I hear. I don't get to watch the telly too much anymore. So busy with domesticity and youngblood angst. That, and pouring over the blogs of strangers, reading into the details of their everyday lives. It's like remote voyeurism, dontcha think?
I just had a Cherry Limeade. Organic, no less.
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
I feel dirty...
Scathing? Yes. But someone with conservative credentials has to say it. And might I add that the conservative ilk that once crowded around Bush's tower of power are now defecting and seeing what I, an independent, have seen for quite some time: his blatant incompetence and cronyism.
Ms. Meyers: If you are allowed to take on this responsibility, the position and salary increase that comes with it, I hope to God that you will also stand firm to take responsibility in any way that your administration %$&#* up the Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.
*end rant*
Tense? I'm not tense...
BUT... as far as PAST TENSE, yeah... I think I might be that. Well, in psychodynamicgroove's case, I'm sure of it.
Getting on with it, though, I'd like to say that life is confusing. When you think you have it figured out, folks, think again. It's always changing in circumstance. I'm looking, be it not searching, for constance. Why? It's pointless. I read Belle's moving memoirs and I think that she's got it figured out (except for the fact that she works for FOX news). I know that she's got a few years on me, but we're both shooting for similar goals (well, mine are a bit more altruistic in a seemingly less materialistic environment).
I'm young. I know that. But for some reason I feel like I should keep trusting my heart and my gut while remaining skeptical of my easily fooled faith. My mind is telling me this, so that's why it doesn't render the choice. How can you choose between heart and mind when your mind is doing the choosing? Yeah... that's what I thought, too.
So, I'll break out of the 'mothership' for lunch and pass the Deathstar on my way to some West End eatery. Or, I could bore myself ... whichever comes first.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
And Tuesday sucketh...
Getting to the office was gravy, with my cracked and not-so-thermal mug, I trudged to the entryway and to the elevator. Breakfast at desk and I'll probably have lunch here too.
Today is the big day for the applicants. I devised a silly rating system last night full of quotients and averages. We'll see how it compares to the other measuring-ups.
And then, God created letters, and the world was at peace.
Monday, September 19, 2005
All of the sudden...
I just read an article about North Korea's abandonment of nuclear armaments. That's music to my ears! They're dropping the proliferation in exchange for energy aid, economic cooperation and the respect of eachother's sovreignty.
B-E-A-utiful.
That's all they needed. And hopefully, God willing, this bridge will allow North Koreans to see what freedom is, and maybe this diplomacy will change the regime from the inside out. Before long, I hope the sounds of a populace renouncing their "Dear Leader" will be a chorus of forgiveness to both North and South.
Also, I have discovered the new 8th wonder of the world... Carrot Cake Cookies... HOW DIVINE!!!
A lump in my throat...
Maybe my refusal to talk to him after things ended wasn't such a good idea. I'm learning, you know... I'm seeing that I don't always know what is best. And that makes me think, that, if I don't know what's best, then how do I know that I'm doing my best, or what's best for me? It kind of makes me re-evaluate my decisions lately. Do I really know what I'm doing?
I'm going through life just guessing and hoping for the best. It's a rather romantic way to live, but it definately spawns large amounts of uncertainty. I've become impassioned about myself and my pursuits. I hope that it's the right direction, though.
If it sounds like I'm looking at things differently, maybe you're right. Maybe I'm seeing myself just a little bit clearer. Maybe I'm understanding what I was too blind to understand/see/realize in the first place.
I'm too young, stupid and deluded to be right all of the time. Too arrogant to fault myself and too proud to reckon it.
If you thought I did anything good for you; anything at all... then it was worth it.
Friday, September 16, 2005
Oh... so that's why!
Reuters has an official explanation :
"The photographer and editors on this story were looking for other angles in their coverage of this event, something that went beyond the stock pictures of talking heads that these kind of forums usually offer. This picture certainly does that."
Weekend tom-foolery
Word has it that this weekend is Dallas' gay pride parade, which starts startlingly close to my neigborhood. Maybe I'll turn out to take pics.
Also, vintage shopping with Dave, the Son Volt show, and we might run over to Josh's party, that is if the olives are chilled and the rims are salted.
Sunday morning will be an early breakfast, followed by a Rangers game with Dave's parents. Fun, indeed.
Sunday afternoon, I'm off to Tracy's to feed the frogs. I hope he allows me to take pictures of them, because I'm absolutely infatuated with their brightly colored beauty.
Now that I have my entire weekend planned out, I feel like it's already over. That's no fun. I feel that when I schedule my off-time, it's like it's already over; it's like I'm just waiting for it all to be over. It's like I've already planned its completion.
No fun.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
Thank goodness for the gals
Bush needs a potty break...

Reuters: U.S. President George W. Bush writes a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a Security Council meeting at the 2005 World Summit and 60th General Assembly of the United Nations in New York September 14, 2005. World leaders are exploring ways to revitalize the United Nations at a summit on Wednesday but their blueprint falls short of Secretary-General Kofi Annan's vision of freedom from want, persecution and war. REUTERS/Rick Wilking
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
Completely absurd
However, an atheist researcher stated that referring to the outcome of a natural disaster that impedes a group with which one may disagree is just "moral hand-washing."
But, this is my take on it.
If it was a Southern Baptist Convention that was hit by Katrina rather than the Southern Decadence street festival, the government has just as much an obligation to the right-wingers as it does the opposing left. The feds should have lept into the fire for New Orleans just the same as it would jet into a burning building to save Jerry Falwell.
One evangelical even saw a vision in the swirls of Katrina. He said that he saw a vision of an 8-week-old embryo. He said it was a sign from God that New Orleans had to be punished.
My God is a vengeful one, but He does not kill the wicked and not spare the innocent. May He grace these hearts and minds of those who wish to presuppose His will...
... Lord, please forgive the nutcases ... they know not what they do.
Friday, September 02, 2005
I am the LAST person...
Personally, I haven't put gas in my car in over a month. That's something I'm proud of. My employer pays for my DART pass, so basically, I get around for free. Sweet deal, eh? But still, I feel bad for all of the schmucks that are shackled to the pump through their cars and trucks (those people that do not drive fuel-efficient vehicles sheerly out of choice do not have my pity, nor my respect). They live and die by the price of a gallon.
This morning I caught wind of lines at fueling stations. I can still remember a day when gas was only 88 cents per gallon, and it really wasn't that long ago. I think it was like, 6 or 7 years ago.
The whole situation is just dispicable. These petroleum companies are raping their retail customers and gouging them to no end, all the while people in the city formerly known as New Orleans are fighting for their lives. The National Guard has descended upon the city to relieve the festering thousands and remedy the looting and lawlessness. It's no longer civilization...
--
I remember back in 1994 when my neigborhood was flooded by 13 feet of water when the floodgates were washed through at Lake Conroe and the San Jacinto River swelled beyond its 100 year floodplain. My father stayed behind with my brother to guard the house when the day after the breach my family boarded a military helicopter on a makeshift helipad across the flooded street. I waded through the lane, crossing a current that felt like a nimble stream, and I thought, "I forgot Fuzzy Wuzzy! What if our house goes under water?" (Fuzzy Wuzzy and I were cribmates. He and I still hang out. He's a stuffed bear with more history than Elizabeth Taylor.)
We climbed aboard the helicopter and my sister began to sob. I can't remember if she was afraid of heights or she was scared that she would fall out, but I remember pitying her, and then later making fun of her. While on the noisy craft, I remember glancing to the dogs in the their carriers, the coiled rope and cable on which we crouched and the frightened faces of recently inundated homeowners.
The night prior to evacuating, my mother had filled both bath tubs with trash bags and water for my father and brother's use. There were a few families using my parent's house as a headquarters before tomorrow's evacuation. We still had power, so everyone was watching the TV as I reclined on the couch. My mother insisted that even though we didn't have running water, having the power was a much better trade. Shortly after we evacuated, the power went kaput.
The most interesting stories were from when my brother rejoined us as he told us of my father shooting the nutria, rats and vermin that were unlucky enough to climb up our driveway.
I think with all these memories it might be a good idea to write a book, or something.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
THIS JUST IN ...
What does this mean, America? First, it means that the sudden and sharp spike in gasoline prices might actually be warranted. Second, it means that soon there will be a domestic shortage in oil. Third, it means that the Bush Administration is justified in dipping into our Strategic Petroleum Reserves. And lastly, we're screwed.
Why, you ask? Because we're oil-oholics.
I'll tell you this, too: I haven't put gas in my car in over a month. That's right. Rhonda hasn't been to the fueling station in more than 4 weeks.
Why? PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION!!! I can't stress this enough. I mean, I don't really like snobby Europeans, but man, they have that down pat. Public transportation will lessen domestic reliance on petroleum and increase the tax base of government as long as the operation of the public transport remains in the hands of the public. Fares will go directly into the budget of public trasport. Taxes will from citizens will only be used to fund infrastructure and initial construction of lines and avenues to further develop public transportation.
No offense, motorists, but you're killing us all. Please abandon your portable self-containment for a more earth-conscious way of mobility. I also advocate two-wheeled transportation, SMARTcars and cyclists.
Get out of your freakin' SUVs and get into a train or bus, for crissakes!
It's just a phone call...
A rabbit named 'Cuervo'
I don't know how many cups of coffee I've had today.
I don't know why she always seems so condescending when she addresses me.
And ... I'm cubed ...
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
On the agenda
Tonight: White Sox vs. Rangers, doubleheader, Ameriquest field
Tommorow: Trivia at Ben's (FYI: our team won last week, but Dave and Tim had better come up with a more politically incorrect team name than 'Turtles')
Thursday: Movies, Curb Your Enthusiasm and Dinner (con Dave)
Friday: Friends and such
Saturday: Caffery, Harold, Dave and a shakedown
Sunday: Recover...
From flashy, to dull to very dim.
I look forward to the baseball games with much more than enthusiasm, but instead I see them as a personal underground railroad for my escape from a redundant weekday.
I was excited. Now I feel like I'm wearing jeans and I'm wading through chest-deep waters. It's hard to move and it's hard to breathe.
Why?
It's because I look forward to seeing him... I think.
*** I know I need to post pictures quite badly. And I need to stop posting song lyrics. That's annoying. I need to post something that will interest me, but I'm having a hard time finding out what that is...
Wait. Why the hell am I letting myself be so friggin' melancholy? I mean, it's one thing to be down in the dumps for a reason and it's quite another to be sad because you can't figure out the reason. Maybe there is no reason. Maybe I'm just in a funk.
I talked to Caffery yesterday and we're all going to go out sometime this weekend. By 'all' I mean me, her, Dave and Harold... probably along with several of Dave's friends...
I wonder what Dave will say about our whispers...
Friday, August 26, 2005
I was staring at the sky...
to pray on or wish on,
or something like that.
I was having a sweet fix,
on a day-dream of a boy,
whose reality I knew,
was as hopless that could be had.
And then the dove of hope,
began its downward slope,
and I believed for a moment that,
the chances were,
approaching to be glad.
And then as it came down here,
so did a weary tear.
I thought it was a bird,
but it was just a paper bag.
Hunger hurts,
but I want him,
so bad I would kill,
but I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up.
I gotta fold,
'cause these hands are too
shaky to hold.
Hunger hurts,
but starving works,
when it costs...
... too much to love.
I went crazy again today,
looking for a strand to climb,
looking for,
a little hope.
Baby said he couldn't stay,
wouldn't put his lips to mine,
a fail to kiss is a fail to cope.
I said, "Honey I don't feel so good,
don't feel justified.
Come on put a little love here in my void."
He said, "It's all in your head."
I said, "So is everything,"
but he didn't get it.
I thought he was a man
but he was just a little boy.
Hunger hurts,
and I want him,
so bad I would kill,
but I know I'm a mess he don't wanna clean up.
I gotta fold
'cause these hands are too
shaky to hold.
Hunger hurts,
but starving works,
when it costs...
... too much to love.
--Fiona Apple
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Stay in my head...
You may not do everything for me, and I would never expect you to. I appreciate those things that you do for me and I am not wanton for those you do not.
It's easy, to be this way with you.
The game was great. I'll be your (and the Rangers') good-luck charm any day of the week. But when the 'Stros or the Braves are on, you know what side of the fence I stand.
"Years from now when we vacation in a foreign country..."
Let's do Seattle first. The Mariners playing was more than just a sign.
I'll look into a vacation.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
What I, too, wish Bush would say...
By Rod Dreher
www.dallasnews.com/opinion/blog/
Reader JK has asked me to compose a paragraph for the president, one that I could salute. OK, something like this:
We have been humbled by what we have learned in the past three years. We discovered that democracy is not a panacea for the pathologies keeping the Muslim world down. We've learned that liberal democracy -- that is, democracy that respects minority rights, free speech and the rule of law -- cannot be imposed on a society, but must grow out of a culture that prizes these values. America will henceforth do whatever it can to encourage the spread of liberal democratic values, but we no longer believe that it is America's responsibility to make the world democratic, because bitter experience has shown that this is not only impossible, but could actually result in regimes that are more hostile to America's interests than the despotisms they replace.
[Having to utter this paragraph would mean repudiating his Second Inaugural, so Bush couldn't conceivably do it. But I would not vote for a future president who endorsed this crusading utopianism.]
Furthermore, my fellow Americans, I believe it is time for the rest of us to share more directly in the sacrifice we are asking our soldiers and their families to make. I am going to ask Congress to repeal my tax cuts, and to direct the savings directly to the war effort. And I will soon be launching a series of initiatives that will lead the way in saving energy, in providing support for military families, and in doing a host of things to more directly involve all citizens in this war effort. We need your ideas. I ought to have done this immediately after 9/11, but a good idea delayed is better than a good idea ignored.
Finally, I will level with you: this war has not gone nearly as well as I thought it would. We did not plan well for it, and our repeated optimism has not been borne out by events. I'm not going to pretend that things look good in Iraq, and allow false optimism to be our guide henceforth. I will tell you, though, that as difficult as the present situation in Iraq is, it would be unspeakably nastier and more dangerous if we were to withdraw our forces at the present time. Civil war would be a virtual certainty, and it would be all but impossible to keep other nations in the region from invading. This would put the world's oil supply at grave risk, and with it the economies of every single nation. So we have to ask our soldiers, and our people, for more sacrifices. We will go forward guided by realism, not false idealism. These are the hard lessons of the past three years, and as hard as it is for me to admit that I was wrong about some important things, it is vital that I have your trust ...
... or something like that.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Attn: Kind Aggie we met on the street...
Sincerely,
Jo and Dave
It's incredible that this happened the day after Dave and I were riding back from the Highland Village Balloon Festival (which sported only one balloon in the air, due to concerns of wind and the proximity to water), when we exited 635 to be confronted with two cars of Hispanic men, one of which decided to pull alongside us. A passenger got out of a gray Taurus with a glass full of brew and dumped it in the driver's seat of a low-riding Chevy S-10 in front of us. The man then proceeded to punch and pull on the driver of the black S-10 until the light turned green and the truck pulled away. The driver of the mini-truck then tossed a mallet out of his window, I'm guessing in an attempt to thwart the driver of the Taurus from following them any further.
In any case, Nasher Sculpture Center was amazing, and I'll post pics of some of the sculptures we saw, maybe even a Picasso or two. The exhibit at the Dallas Museum of Art by Gordon Parks was INCREDIBLE. I'm glad that I was talked into it. From there we wandered the museum to check out all of the historic art installments along with some really great pieces by native Texans. All in all, the DMA is a great place to spend a few weekend hours.
So, it's back to work on Monday, and already I'm waiting for the weekend.
What's to look forward to, you ask?
-- Rangers game tomorrow
-- Trivia on Wednesday
I'll keep you "posted," darlin'.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Rattle me bones...

That's my new staff photo. The photographer said that it'll be hanging out downstairs so everyone can check me out. Ummm... I don't know what that means, like it's a personal ad saying "Hey, here's our newest female employees, for a good time call..."
Just kidding. I know that's not the case!
Dez: I AM SO FREAKIN' SORRY FOR BAILING ON YOU LAST NIGHT!!! For obvious reasons, we had to get out of there. Dave got a little tipsy a little too quick, but that man has sworn up and down that drinking like that is something he can, and will, go without. So, he'll be going without, or he'll be GOING WITHOUT!!! :)
So, that's that. It was nice to meet Tim, and I think that last drink really did me in. But, all in all, Lone Star never lets me down!
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Drumroll, please...
Merriment will ensue, and hopefully we can all cheerily say that the night bodes well for us.
It was astonishing, nay, a miracle...
Two bottles of wine ... I'm getting burnt-out.
Next time, there better be pancakes. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
From the cheap seats...
----------------------------------------
"They're going to make the Los Angeles riots look like a picnic," Mr. Fantroy said. "Why is this all just black folks? Why is it when it comes to us, we're guilty the minute there are accusations?"
----------------------------------------
Racism is not something that our government takes lightly. I'm not saying that the FBI singled out only black members of the Dallas City Council, which is highly speculative in itself considering that an act of racism is so incredibly difficult to prove without an actual racist comment. In the event that they actually did (which is again, highly unlikely), there are measures and avenues that keep that kind of discrimination at bay, especially in an investigation with such a high profile as this.
So, Fantroy's subversive call to arms is unconscionable and totally without logic. The problem with such speech is that this black leader (who, to my best knowledge, was one of the first mentioned in the investigation along with Mayor Pro Tem Don Hill and D'Angelo Lee) said that this situation was going to result in riots. Why, OH GOD WHY, would a leader say that? No one else in public office has so openly talked about the possibility of rioting. The sheer fact that riots were mentioned is like an incitement to Dallas' perceived disenfranchised minority populace.
Now, Laura Miller is talking about Lee's resignation. Good idea, bad timing. Her calls are just opening the door to more speculation from minority council members that she is the driving force behind the FBI's investigation (which is silly speculation, as well, especially considering the fact that she's just the mayor, and has no jurisdiction in a federal investigation). And not only that, but her calls for resignation are fueling the flames of the already rampant racial division in the city. But, it gets worse...
Dr. Maxine Thornton-Reese, one of Millers more soft-spoken critics (and I'm using that term comparatively, especially in light of Sir Fantroy of Finger-pointing), is now under investigation, as well as fellow council member Leo Chaney and two members of the Dallas Plan Commission.
Now, I don't know what to think. I'm an IUPG (Innocent Until Proven Guilty) kind of gal, but this is starting to look really bad. Where's Schutze when you need him???
Monday, August 15, 2005
You're a herder, I'm a scatterer
A paradox it seems, that he be the herder and I the scatterer of rice pilaf among salmon.
Then there was pie... and the world was whole.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Thought you might enjoy having this close by...
Then, I recognized the cover of the cookbook. It was from a long time ago. I opened it, my eyes widened and then I closed it shut as if what I saw would not be there if I peeked inside again. On the cover was a Post-It saying "Thought You Might Enjoy Having This Close By."
The cookbook was from Forest Hills Green Thumb Garden Club, circa 1991. It was given to me that year by Isadora Breed, my grandmother. Scribed on the inside cover of the cookbook, which was titled Recipes to Warm the Heart (how apropos!), was a note from my grandmother saying,"To Joanna, From Granny, Christmas 1991."
The slant of her writing brought back so many memories of the day that she died. The notes with her script were all over the house, and every time I saw and read one I began to cry. I miss her, incredibly so.
My mother was right. I do enjoy having it close by.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
What a rough ride...
I missed baseball. It was one thing that my dad and I really enjoyed watching together. No matter how hot-headed we would both get, Dad could flip on ESPN and we could watch the game. When the 'stros came on, we knew that we could just give up the debate and we would both be okay. Baseball is a great distraction, or better yet, a diplomatic response to whatever issue dirties the air.
At the train station: I saw this young black woman with two young girls. Her daughters were absolutely beautiful and innocent. She cared for them well, and I could tell that they were the most important things in her life. She laughed with them as we all waited for the train.
"Your daughters are absolutely beautiful," I said to her.
"Thanks! They make their mother proud," she replied.
I had almost lost faith in the ability for some parents to be loving and responsible. She has restored whatever hope I had lost. There are good people in this town, and now I'm finding that they are much easier to recognize than I had once thought.
Dave and I talked about past relationships, about heartbreak and the people in our lives that have caused it. Our conversations have meaning in them, and he's showing me that there's a lot that I take for granted every day.
Open my eyes, but leave them closed long enough to fall fast asleep.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
Take me out...
-For Dave.
Monday, August 08, 2005
At a loss...
A part of me already knows and doesn't want to acknowledge it. That would be much too easy, and obviously, denial and I get along well together.
Proving myself was hard, but I guess starting over again to overcome something that should not have even occured will be much more difficult. I know that I have what it takes to be and do what I want, which is so much bigger than anything else I could have possibly imagined. I'm losing ground in the battle for opportunity.
Maybe I should take a shot at it. Maybe I should suck it up. Maybe I should just forget about it and keep on keepin' on. Maybe I'm imagining things.
To the back of the bus
But, back to the bus trip. Despite all of my efforts to remain somewhat solitary, my isolation was disrupted several times by some of the more friendly, if not harrowingly candid, public at large. One man, who sat near by, talked about the inequity that blacks face in Dallas, how to solve the homeless population and why he would never vote for a Democrat, "Not even if it was my brother. You just can't trust 'em."
I didn't expect to hear so much talk about social issues on a bus ride.
As we made our way north, and I journeyed back home to "the big D," we made several brief stops. I knew from the southbound trip that we would pit in Huntsville. My mother cautioned me that there is a possibility that a freshly released ex-convict could board. And behold, a sandy-haired young man, unshaven with a nervous twitch, climbed the narrow steps onto the bus and sat directly behind the driver. Just a few feet away, I watched as he nervously bobbed his head, looking in all directions as if he was waiting for something to jump out of the darkness. So uncomfortable and scared, he resembled a caged animal with no conception of trust. He surveyed his environment in search of something to hold his attention, a victim of his own device.
Back in town that evening, I departed from the bus station in downtown making headway to the West End train station, from which I would journey back home. Home, a place I sorely missed.
Everywhere I went I was engulfed by humanity. All facets of the spectrum, I interacted with each equally, paying no mind to what it showed on its face. This weekend, although fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants unplanned, was worth it. I hope to have a series of experiences like this. Experiences that nudge me outside of my comfort zone. Experiences that take me out of this world but lead me back home.
"Seeing and helping those who need a hand really helps you appreciate life."
"Maybe it helps you appreciate your life?"
"No. It's the fact that we are all human, and when you help another, you are lifting much more than just yourself, your ego. It's about actually being a better person. It's about making others feel good because you can, and you should."
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Desiree made an interesting point last night. It really made me think about a lot of the people that I lived with in college. The question I've been asking myself is simple, but has no simple answer:The people that are with you today may not be tomorrow, but does that mean that they are any less of a friend/acquaintance now because you may know that they lack permanence?
If I meet someone today, should I treat them as if they will be a friend for the rest of my life? Should I assume that this is possible?
I have so many things on my mind right now. It's like being so overcome with emotion and thought that you feel as if your physical body can't take it. The conversation last night with Desiree solidified a lot of conceptions I had about who I am post-college. So much more than just another kid with a degree, right? She seems to have a path somewhat parallel to the line I'm walking right now, but that illusion can come from 5 Lone Stars, a bull blaster and a proposition from some weirdo named Patrick.
Stan's Blue Note is better with a good friend.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
Juiced, blasted, drunk and dazed...
Saturday I decided to get out on my own for the first time since I moved here. I decided to head out to Muddy Waters to see what was shakin'. Good idea, I think, because not only were there two nifty bands with really cool sounds but there was a slew, a virtual cache of Aggies; so many that I couldn't avoid making a few friends. Yay for me.
Several Lone Stars later, I was having a fantastic time, nay, a blast. I must be fun to party with, because when I go out, I always have a good time (and the people around me have a monumental outing as well, I can assume).
Sunflowers... I'll have to take pictures of them because they are simply gorgeous. Was I expecting that? Hell no! They give me a giddy grin when I come home and see them. Silly and lopsided with faces that beg you to smile, sunflowers cause an epidemic of joy.
It was nice to just hang out last night. I'm in love with internet radio. Really. I LOVE IT. I want to rear its babies and shop at Gymboree with it. I think its mutual, though.
Oh, and if you were wondering: Yes, I am a masterful cook.
Oh, and Rod, I told you so... Kirin Ichiban is the best. Try it with Tapas or Sushi next time. You won't be sorry.














