Saturday, January 16, 2010

The easy way

I think it was one of those really crappy Kurt Russell action movies that coined the oft-used phrase.

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."

You hear it all the time now. No matter the situation, two sides often find themselves with two choices: "the easy way" or "the hard way."

When it comes to headache-inducing circumstances, I often choose "the easy way." And I look at those who choose the hard way as complete morons. Why? Because they don't have the sense to do things "the easy way."

Right now, a couple that we've been friends with even before Dave and I got married are going through a ridiculous, nasty divorce. It's an epic battle of he-said, she-said. The worst thing is that there are three children hanging in the balance.

There are many people who choose to go through divorce that take "the easy way." There are all different kinds of divorces nowadays, many of which are used to avoid expensive legal costs and protracted decisions that make no one happy. These are good options.

Unfortunately, my friend's wife has fallen off the deep end. Any shred of dignity or sanity she had left has been washed away in the wake of her own scorched-earth campaign of a divorce. In what I've heard of what's going on, she is the kind of woman that gives women everywhere a bad name, like Courtney Love, only with worse taste in lipstick.

It's bad enough to fabricate situations that paint her soon to be ex-husband as an asshole, but in all of this, she's using their children as weapons so that she can get what she wants. It's all awful, and it makes you look at your own life and what measures you can take so these things never happen to you.

And make no mistake -- there is room for "the hard way" in some situations. However, I wish she had the sense to see that in this instance, where her family and friends hang in the balance, there is a reason that "the hard way" is the path less taken, and that going that route is no badge of honor.

5 comments:

Kyla Roma said...

This is so tough. Honestly, that was what my mom did when we were growing up and my parents were getting divorced and it was brutal.

At the same time, I'm so thankful to have grown up knowing how ugly people can be and how important it is to stop that from happening for the sake of your kids and your relationships. And your sanity.

wanderingtex said...

that is so sad. i guess that when you're going through something that emotionally tears you apart it is hard to know what is "normal" or "sane". but at the same time, it isn't difficult to look at the people around you and seeing that you are hurting all of them. i hope the woman gets the help she needs and the kids and husband get the love and support they need.

wanderingtex said...

that is so sad. i guess that when you're going through something that emotionally tears you apart it is hard to know what is "normal" or "sane". but at the same time, it isn't difficult to look at the people around you and seeing that you are hurting all of them. i hope the woman gets the help she needs and the kids and husband get the love and support they need.

wanderingtex said...

woops - twice!! sorry about that!

The Maiden Metallurgist said...

Yipes. We are so fortunate to benefit from other peoples' bad decision, so we can make better ones- but it's so hard to watch them make them.