I went to bed last night with a mild case of indigestion and woke up with the most violent case of acid reflux this side of Jesus' birth. It was so bad that I was acutely uncomfortable in any position other than mostly prostrate with my chest slightly elevated. I did not sleep. At. All.
This morning I was as close to useless as human beings get. My throat was raw and dry. Swallowing was like rubbing two pieces of sand paper in the back of my mouth. And even after almost the entire bottle of Tums I was still having heinous heartburn.
Needless to say, I worked from home until I could drink something other than my own saliva.
But, as if that wasn't awful enough, it was raining this morning. That means two things ... wait, make that three things: wet puppies, mad hens and no Internet. For quite some time, likely until about 9:30, I was scared that I would have to go in to the office not quite yet recovered. And then, just as I'd was being transferred to the customer service staff with Mother Fucking Time Warner Cable, my iGoogle page pops up and I am connected to my home WiFi. I didn't even get the chance to get my gripe on.
Oh, and Gloria was so loud today after I fed them! She was really barking out the traditional chicken cluck that everyone imitates: bawk-bawk-beCAW! She was even up on her hackles, really craning her neck and throwing her voice. Good thing all the folks that weren't up all night with acid reflux were likely already at work.
The moral of this story is that I may just need to take an effing chill pill. This heartburn junk is not what I signed up for.