Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Who sucked the fun out?

All of their pictures look like they made some great discovery in life... Did I miss it? Where did my midweek booze binge go? Why did I spend college working hard to get a degree instead of partying hard and living life to the fullest before responsibility smacked me up like Tuesdays trick in the back seat of a Caddy with spokes.

I missed out to gain a running start at my dream job. I missed out on the Wednesday night drink specials and the Sunday morning hangovers with people who live for debauchery, for passion, for friend and most of all, for fun. I feel like that was a very important part of college that I didn't get.

Most of all, I'm sad to say, that it was my own naivete that got in the way. I fell in love for someone who thought I was a couple of steps up from an accessory. Fuck that. I am not, and never will be, an alligator purse. I missed out on an internship in Washington, D.C. for him. I missed out on symphonies and so much of my potential. He took it away, and here I am. But, I've learned so much, but I'm still so bitter yet so open to beauty.

I'll never look back on it as waste. I'll just see it as the flattened corpse of the sewer rat in my path. I saw it just as I stepped off of the curb, and I'll never forget it, but I walked right over it and never looked back.

5 comments:

Famulus said...

And have you managed to blow the fun back in? :-)

Olivia said...

Great last paragraph.

So, do you work at a newspaper? Dallas not being a great publishing centre and all...

lunaliar said...

I am not at liberty to say...

I really can't post who my employer is or what exactly it is that I do professionally. Modern part-time bloggers still fear the dooce.

Olivia said...

Ah, America....!

MattJ said...

Nyah Nyah! I know! :p lol!

You only missed out if you really wanted to do it in the first place LL, anyone who tells you differnt is an idiot. And if there is one thing I have learned, the person who tears yuor ego down whiole crushing your heart will always do so at the most inconvenient of times!