Friday, June 26, 2009

The Art of Applying Yourself

Top 5 things not to do in your cover letter when applying for a job:

5. Mention the hospital bills you have to pay after your recent sexual reassignment surgery.

4. Start every sentence with "I."

3. Talk about how you really don't need a job that bad, but you're applying anyway, as if it was a legitimate reverse psychology tactic.

2. Misspell something or confuse "your" and "you're" while purporting to be an editor.

1. Forget to include the attached resume, only to send a second e-mail saying "Oops! I forgot to attach my resume!" That's foreshadowing a crappy employee.


The Famulus said...

I sincerely hope that you are not speaking from experience... ;-)

Jo said...

None of these are from experience, but I did review applications for guest columnist spots at my former job. Many of these did happen.

Josh said...

Perhaps you could somehow combine #1 and #2. Something about having to pay for your gender reassignment surgery, and then constantly referring to yourself in the third person as "he/she".


Olivia said...

Haha, I was wondering if you did number 5, but I see you did not.

I've done number 1 before! After I said I was detail-oriented!