My boss was the first one to catch a malignant strain of cold. It quickly spread to a nearby coworker, which was then vectored (allegedly by a poorly washed glass) to another nearby coworker, which then infected my husband and infected, most recently, me.
If this isn't pandemic by default, then the word has lost all meaning.
Now all it needs is one of those flashy backgrounds for the 9 p.m. local news and one of those scary-ass lead-ins:
A woman with over-blonde helmet hair, too much cleavage, and pink lipstick stands infront of a banner that says "PANDEMIC COLD SWEEPS DALLAS!"
"Is your head cold trying to kill you? Find out at nine..."