I went to high school with some really beautiful girls. I always felt inferior to them. Because of that, I never really dated guys that I went to high school with; I was always running with a different crowd.
There was a girl that I went to school with, Ash, who was gorgeous. She was kind, too, but was the kind of beautiful that didn't know how beautiful she was.
I think that only one guy knew how amazing she was. He was a pretty close friend of mine, too.
Long, thick, dark hair and the kind of olive skin that people go under the knife for these days. A really amazing person. I knew her pretty well.
But, and here's the dish, I seem to be edited out of her best memories.
And to be more matter-of-fact, I doubt many people remember the person I was back then. Hell, I was pretty forgettable. I had little or no confidence at all, a few friends that I was really close to and a lot that I wasn't at all. Fingertips in several pools but completely immersed in none.
And now, looking back through photos and memories and other things that make you think about who you are, where you've been and what you could be in the future, I realize that nothing suits me more than just remembering. It's easy, and it's better than regretting.
5 comments:
Hey you posted this while I was reading your previous posts.
I was pretty forgettable in high school also, had a few acquaintances and a few close friends. Only really entered social circles in university.
I was pretty forgettable too I think. It's strange, I don't really look on those years with either fondness or regret. But on the other hand, all 3 of us forgettable in school but now all 3 of us are now supremely awesome - so screw you high school! Right in the ear!
Hah! How'dya like them apples?! I have a sofa and everything! Jo has chickens! CHICKENS D'YA HEAR?! Never saw that coming did you?! Left field in your face!
hehe!
Now that I'm jobless I have a lot of time for introspection, whether it's good for me or not. So I've been thinking about people I knew and places I've been, and honestly, although I wouldn't change any of it (well, maybe some small things, but nothing major), it's easy to be critical of yourself, hindsight being 20/20 and all that.
But what's worse is that I can write, and I can talk about who I am quite easily, which makes it easy for people to relate, which means that I find awesome people like Matt and Liv.
Lucky I am, aren't I?
Ah but think about it - we blog. I think the popular kids are not the bloggers of today.
Anyway, that aside - I too am glad to be able to relate to keen-minded fellow writers like Matt and Jo.
To be edited out of the memory is an interesting idea.
Many years ago, when the world was young, I went on a two week scout trip in the California mountains.
Weeks later we got together for a party to look a the pictures, remember, this was pre-digital.
I was not in a single picture. 13 days, 10 kids, 8 cameras, and I wasn't in a single shot.
Except for a bramble-bush scar on my arm that lasted 2 years, and my own memories, I can not prove that i was on that trip at all. It felt very strange.
Post a Comment