From flashy, to dull to very dim.

I was excited about all of this. I told myself that this was what I wanted. However, now I see myself as lost in a monotonous machine, respected only as a cog; a means to an end for something I lost.

I look forward to the baseball games with much more than enthusiasm, but instead I see them as a personal underground railroad for my escape from a redundant weekday.

I was excited. Now I feel like I'm wearing jeans and I'm wading through chest-deep waters. It's hard to move and it's hard to breathe.

Why?

It's because I look forward to seeing him... I think.

*** I know I need to post pictures quite badly. And I need to stop posting song lyrics. That's annoying. I need to post something that will interest me, but I'm having a hard time finding out what that is...

Wait. Why the hell am I letting myself be so friggin' melancholy? I mean, it's one thing to be down in the dumps for a reason and it's quite another to be sad because you can't figure out the reason. Maybe there is no reason. Maybe I'm just in a funk.

I talked to Caffery yesterday and we're all going to go out sometime this weekend. By 'all' I mean me, her, Dave and Harold... probably along with several of Dave's friends...

I wonder what Dave will say about our whispers...